Learning to Love Enough

I have been home educating my son this year for the first time and I have been deeply concerned about my son's lack educational drive. Friday evening we went to see Glenn Beck and one of the main points I came away with was that Heavenly Father loves us enough to let us fail. When he said that, I realized that the only way any of us really learn anything is from failing and trying again: have you ever watched a toddler learning to walk or listened to someone practise the piano? It hit me that I simply need to love Benjamin enough to let him fail if he chooses. For this whole school year, I have been trying to avoid embarrassment for him and myself. I have even used the threat, "You are going to be doing this class again with the new freshmen next year...."

The difference today was that I asked my son what he was going to do about his situation and listened like I believe God listens to me when he hears my plans; there was a palpable detachment from Benjamin's answer and my feeling of self-worth. I felt as though I was actually letting him learn (which is my goal), even though it was a lesson I wished he would learn from watching others. I envisioned Heavenly Father watching me ignore life's daily lessons and loving me enough to be patient.

So tomorrow is a new day and I will not try to control my son, because I need to spend my energy learning to control ME.